“God himself is the author of marriage. ”
This year World Marriage Day, which is held on the second Sunday in February, falls on Valentine’s Day. Here in U.S., we’ve also been celebrating National Marriage Week in the days leading up to this special day. The theme this year was, “To have, to hold, to honor,” which the USCCB chose, “to highlight how married couples live and renew their wedding promises daily in the building up of the domestic church in their homes, particularly as many couples and families have spent more time at home together this year.” We’re so grateful to the couples at our parish who have chosen to share their stories and insights into married life with us this year.
Christie & Fred - Married almost 43 years
Fred and Christie met while in college. Fred lived in the apartment above Christie’s. They have been blessed with a wonderful son and have had a dog throughout their married life. Their favorite memories are the birth of their son and the wonderful times shared together raising him.
Remembering their wedding day:
“Fred remembered being transfixed as his bride was walking toward him up the aisle in church, thinking how beautiful she was. Also he remembers feeling that he didn’t know most of the people at the wedding celebration – “who are all of these people?” Christie remembers being a bit nervous and overwhelmed but also being filled with a sense of awe and thankful for the kindly priest.”
Favorite Family Tradition:
“Getting together for Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, with brother/uncle, sister/aunt cousins, and friends. Also, filling the Advent box with treats, counting down each day until Christmas. Coloring Easter eggs and Easter egg hunts. Family time at Disneyland.”
How do they keep Christ in their marriage:
“[We] pray (a lot!) and go to church and observe the traditions of our Catholic faith. Keep God ever central, especially when working through challenging times.”
What their marriage taught them about love:
“Love is not superficial. It requires patience and forgiveness and kindness. It makes one less selfish. It is wonderful to have a lifetime friend.”
What their marriage has taught them about God:
“That God is always with you and will strengthen you and help you. God is the most important part of an enduring marriage. “
Advice for engaged or newly married couples:
“Fred: Don’t sweat the small stuff. Pick your battles.
Christie: Don’t keep score.
Both: God has to be the center. Be patient, understanding, and give each other space. Let each person be who they are. Don’t smother each other or try to change your spouse into someone they are not. TRUST is a basic, necessary foundation, and all things are possible with God.”
Jolene & Eli - Married almost 20 years
Eli and Jolene met in college when they took a computer networking class together. One of their assignments was to get two computers "talking" to each other. Jolene helped Eli and his friend with their assignment and they started "talking" more and more. They have one son, Daniel, who is in 6th grade at Free Horizon Montessori. Daniel is very active in the parish as an altar server and lecturer for the children's Masses.
What do they remember most about their wedding day:
“Being around family, most of our families traveled up to Golden for our wedding day. It was a blessing to see our relatives sitting in our church as we exchanged our wedding vows here at St. Joseph.”
Their favorite family tradition:
“Going to Mass at 11:00 am and then going to eat lunch somewhere together as a family and keeping Sunday a Family Day.”
How they help each other in their faith life:
“We pray together before meals, we pray before and after any long road trips, and we have a curious son who is constantly asking us questions about the Bible, the why's about our faith, and questions about life as a Catholic that keeps us learning and growing in our faith. There was one question we were not able to answer for him and we are thankful to Father Tran for meeting with him and having an hour long discussion.”
What has their marriage taught them about love:
“Love is a choice, sometimes challenging, but overall with God's guidance and grace it has been a blessing.”
What their marriage taught them about God:
“God is always present, even during the struggles, and when it is his time the blessings are overwhelming and more abundant than we could have ever imagined.”
Advice for newly married couples:
“Keep the disagreements between you, your spouse, and God, try not to involve family or friends and we understand this is not always easy, but it will help you grow as a couple without everyone's opinions and judgements. Although you are married, it is okay to spend time away from one another because this will allow you to miss each other and appreciate each other more when you are together.”
Maura & Taylor - Married almost 1 year
Taylor and Maura met while working at Panera. On Maura’s last day of work, Taylor asked if she would go out with him sometime and Maura said, “sure!” As they continued to get to know each other in this new light, they both felt more drawn to building a life together. Since their wedding day last June, they have enjoyed the time spent together! They have a seven month old puppy, Finley. Maura keeps busy working for the parish, teaching lessons, training dogs, running, and even taking care of a horse! Taylor enjoys his job at Colorado Alarm and Fire Protection, LLC very much. They work together as a team to make sure everything gets done day to day while also working towards their bigger goals, which right now includes looking for a house! They also make sure to recognize and appreciate the time that they get to spend together when the busy day is done.
Memories of their wedding day:
“We both remember the whole day! We got married in the thick of the pandemic, so our wedding day was not how we originally planned, but it was so unique and special for us, and we were so grateful for the things we were able to do and the friends and family that were able to be present with us in person, online, and in thoughts and prayers!”
On family traditions:
“This is our first year together and we still have a lot of moving pieces. Plus, we are aware that life will continue to adjust as we come through the pandemic, so we are keeping all plans and traditions in a "we'll see!" kind of status!”
How they keep Christ in their marriage:
“Attending Masses in person and virtually is big for us. It's a way to hear scripture and take some time to reflect on how that fits in our lives. We sometimes will talk together about what we heard at Mass afterwards. I attend 4 Masses each weekend so sometimes I will share a point or two from one of the homilies Taylor was not there for. We also try to just take a few moments each week to recognize the role God is playing in guiding where our life goes next. When you stop to think about it, it's amazing to see the ways God shapes and guides us if you let Him! We also find Christ in the people around us, so staying connected with our friends and family is also a way to stay connected to Christ.”
What their marriage taught them about love:
“Love is huge, it encompasses so much. Love gives us hope for what lies ahead, and gives us comfort when facing challenges. It is a commitment, and we have found it to be well worth it!”
What their marriage has taught them about God:
“That the plans God has for us are more intricate than we could ever imagine! As two people who were preparing to possibly just walk the road alone, it has taught us both to never underestimate what God has in store!”
The most surprising thing about being married:
“It's amazing how, now, being married, we both know that no matter what happens, at the end of the day we know we have each other, it's a great feeling.”
Advice for someone discerning if God is calling them to married life:
“For those discerning, listen, be patient, and keep your heart open to God. Pray on the different options you have in front of you. Talk them through with God like you are talking to a friend. God will let you know in His own way, in His own time where He wants you to go next. As two people who took rather winding roads to get to where we are, we both found that it was when we opened ourselves up and listened to those little nudges that we started finding the open doors that led us to find joyful and fulfilling lives. It's still amazing to think about, but we do feel we are living a life God wants us to be living, and we trust that if we keep listening, we'll continue to be right where God needs us to be!”